My journey

I will tell my story and how I went thru of all this with God by my side.

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“Some Souls Not Alike”

When Some people just need a little LOVE in their hearts!!!!!!!! What I am referring to is my own flesh and blood, not all my family but some do not care to check on you, do not care if they see you…What happened to this generation that we made? They are not like us, we checked on our parents at least. It just hurts when we raised them. Ok enough of that talk, well I had dental work done and got all teeth pulled, not feeling to great but chemo killed my teeth, had to do something. It has been a scorcher here in Arkansas, don’t like to much heat for me. I am feeling a little down today with how sometimes I get treated but I am sure it happens to all of us, but some don’t realize people don’t last forever and they will be taken from them before they know it, just sad. I am hoping that everyone is doing good tho, I need a vacation away from all of it lol I am sure yall do too lol Well just remember to show love to others and you will hopefully receive love back.

 

“LET THE BAD ROLL OFF AND TRUST IN GOD”

So today is cloudy and my Queenie is getting better so happy she is,she is getting back to her old self. Also my grandson is coming to visit his Nina and I am so so happy.

It is special when he comes to visit us , we all enjoy him when he gets to come, he tells everyone he going to farm to see his Nina lol he loves all my animals I have , but it is a fun time.

My son is visiting his Nana has been for about a few weeks , he not wanting to come home, he can do that cause we home school , I told him last night I miss him we all laugh cause he loves spending time with his Nana and John. I love that he still has them in his life.

so I guess today will be rest up time for when my grandson gets here.Well I am sending love and healing to all of you. ok until next time be blessed.IMG_0050.JPG

“SOME DAYS ARE A DIAMOND”

I love feeling the way I do today, these are the moments I treasure in my heart. I woke up feeling like a million bucks , which I have some of these days but not to many.

My angel Queenie our Pit dog had surgery yesterday and lord she is like my other kid I worry about her also, but she is better today so glad. She helped me thru so much when I took chemo she made me sleep and made sure I would hang on to her when I used steps, she is a sweetheart to me.

As soon as she and I get all better meaning after I get my teeth done we will start walking on pretty days to feel better , her dr said she could lose some weight well so could I lolĀ  we will do this together lol.

I just enjoy all my loved ones that are in my life and even my animals they all are truly my stable place for sure, they keep me going thru each day among my loved ones.

Well enough of me rattling I hope this writing finds each of you well and blessed, thinking of all of us warriors every day, just always show love to others let them know they are loved. Showing each of you love and sending lots of love for healing your journey. Till next time , Show the love !!!!!!!!!

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This is Queenie my angel

“In Your Eyes”

Well today was a beautiful day. I got some fishing in and I caught the biggest fish I have ever caught, to say the least I was so excited. Visited with family and had a good time, so thankful for family.

I took my baby goats to my sister in laws kiddos today , they were so happy and excited that they got them, made me so happy , I love seeing kids happy and smiling.

I think that getting out of house helps alot , yesterday also spent the evening with family and it was nice to talk and enjoy each other.

One thing is for sure to me the pond is so peaceful and calming to me, during my chemo I would take a video of it so I could watch as chemo was given to me , made things so calming for me. It is the little things that we take for granted that becomes reality when you battle cancer in your life, and I did make my priorities right and thought about all the things I needed to , I am so glad I did , got all my life in the right line and I promised God I would .

Well I will close and I hope all of yall had an awesome day today, remember shoe the love to others, I am sending my love to all of you. Talk again soon.IMG_0053

 

“EASTER IS THE REAL DEAL FOR ME”

Well I am getting use to my computer , and well I have deleted my pictures lol not on purpose just learning all of it on here, so bare with me please.

So far all is going great but I am having my teeth worked on now since the chemo and the first two bad boy cancers killed them, it just feels cancer has taken so much from me at this point, I just don’t feel it can take much more.

If you have been thru what we cancer warriors have you see that losing your hair is a very emotional thing especially for women, I got thru the first one lots of crying happened . But when I got the third cancer and it took my breasts well that was a whole another story , you feel to yourself “what am I ? ” I know God made me as a woman but you go quiet a bit of emotional feelings then it was my hair again and gosh I kinda got use to it but still it is like how I felt was look devil you might take all i have but you will never and I mean NEVER take my soul that is Gods.

So now I will lose my teeth on this cancer journey but I will have new and white pretty teeth after it is all done. I am wanting to write a book about my journies and I am asking God to direct me in this endeaver to see where I will go , I want to help others that have to deal with the cancer and tell them how to get resources that will help them, but I am not sure how to start this but I am pretty sure I will figure it out.

All is going good taking care of animlas and my family and going right on along , I am hoping that everyone has a great Easter and remembers why we have it and who is to be honored on this day. So I am sending yall love and talk to yall soon. Show the love yall!!!!!!

Wow it is to early for me to be up ugh

Well my suspicions are right I am getting sick again , the story of my life , I continue to have sinus infections a lot , which I had them before but it is almost every other month it gets so tiresome , but this is another thing God will take care of he always does.

I can tell when I get sick I can’t sleep and I have tons of emotions and I am there now so sent a message to my dr to get me something or let me come in , my life is far from normal now , that is why I am letting my 15 year old do online virtual school because taking him and picking him up wore me out I would be sick so much then , I get so mad and frustrated that I am not me anymore and can’t do things like I use to just burns me up.

Well enough of me whining I just try to give an insight on what us cancer folks go thru , it isn’t a pretty life , it is a hard path to go down but we all hang tough and follow thru. People don’t get it tho they think oh they are home and in remission, well people I hate to break it to you but we are still struggling with what the big ugly cancer left us with plus the chemo and other treatments we go thru so take a moment to stop and think about all we go thru and continue to go thru , for example when you have a ache on your bones from arthritis or weather changing well that is me everyday and y’all have a tummy ache well that is me everyday , just open your eyes and live what we do then you can comment oh I know how you feel cause you don’t even know the half of it. Walk in our shoes one day hell even one hour.

Well I am venting and sorry to sound so down but when you get sick it takes you way down and I am there or getting to it now.

But even tho thru all this darkness I still say show the love to others and keep my faith in God he will take all I have and put me where I need to be.

Ok I will lay down now love y’all and have a good day.

Such a beautiful day and we owe it all to God.

Well I am still fighting allergies hoping don’t turn into infection cause I can tell it is trying to ugh I get sick of antibiotics but I am on them all the time from bronchitis to sinus infection and so on. It’s is kinda a daily deal for me wish I could find a natural way to fight them but I been researching that also , it is hard for us cancer survivors to take anything tho without permission from my oncologist first tho.

Got up and took my baby out queenie she is spoiled but a sweet companion for me she actually makes sure I am taking care of me lol. Also fed all other animals and watered them. I have a farm pretty much lol. I have one momma goat that just had twins which all are Pygmy goats and one male. Then I have 4 ducks and lots of chickens. Then we have 4 dogs which are pits and I love them so much they protect this place and us. Then my husband has a hunting dog that just had puppies and they are darling lol. So yep I am a farm girl lol I love it tho.

I am trying to get to where I can have all natural stuff to eat instead of getting at store I feel that is where our cancer comes from so trying to do like homesteading but it is hard when my hubby works a lot so can’t do it all alone , I am still weak as in no strength and still have to take naps which is fine by me lol just rest when my body says rest but when I feel good I actually over do it then but there aren’t many of them days too.

My male goat Kritten yes I gave him a wild name but he is so living up to it now lol he tries to ram me when I go in he mad cause he wants the momma goat now her name is Kressa so I had to separate cause no babies now she got to heal , anyways he trying my patience for sure I take a feed bucket in and he wants to show me he in charge lol well I showed him but it didn’t bother him he still kept coming for me but one of my dogs Athena was having a fit she will hurt him if he hurts me lol but I try to stay ahead of him.

Got to do so much on getting another pin for my male goat cause he taken over the chicken pin now and he is a bully.

He loves playing with my hubby they push and shove each other it’s funny , if he gets any meaner tho he will have to go can’t let him hurt me I bruise real easy and bleeding sometimes don’t stop. Ok enough of that lol

Anyways my animals do brighten my day they make me laugh and pass time for me I do enjoy them.

Well I am hoping all of yalls day is a great one for you and remember to show love, it maybe the last love to show.

Have an awesome day y’all until next time. Love ya from afar.

Me !!!! That is what God sees in my purpose

Sorry I haven’t posted lately but it is hard to do all this on my phone will be getting a computer soon I hope so I can post more.

Things have been going good so far but allergies are kicking right now. This time every year I have them bad , thanks dad for that lol he had them real bad. Some days I feel I am in my own little bubble and not many are let into my bubble cause of my immune system so low it is a lonesome way but that is my way as of now , I do wish my dad was still here , he always stayed in touch with me and I miss that , since he has passed it’s like our family drifted apart so see each other or talk to each other much , it is sad but I know everyone stays busy but you have to love your family they are all you have. Ok enough of the sad mushy stuff lol.

So I am needing to go get a test , yes a test colonoscopy test , I am scared because of what will be found , cause I got cancer this past year again so I am putting it off told my husband I am worried they will find something like they did on my dad , I will pray about it and then go take it.

And if anyone knows me not being able to eat oh good lord I will crumble not good for me lol but I will bite the bullet and take the dang test ugh!!!!!!! I am thinking of trying the Soursop fruit to help with cancer not sure yet but wanting too, also I am starting back my smoothies with all fruit , it made me feel so much better when I drank them , also I will get me a Mini trampoline to help drain the lymph nodes by jumping on it , says it is awesome for getting them to all work so I am on that also. When you have cancer you think of good things to do for it even me being in remission I still have that in back of my mind but I also know God knows what path I need to take and I am his all the way, nope no turning back or losing my faith he is in my heart and soul and will always remain there.

There are a lot of good steps I will be taking as soon as I can things will change for the better when I get all of it organized lol I try lol sometimes tho I get off track lol. For some reason the chemo has messed up my short term memory well and long term too or I am getting old fast lol but I do have problems with that I have to make notes to keep up but I am working on that too. I do have one goal I would love to write a book about my journey with all three of my cancers and try my best to put in there all the searches and links I found for free things to help us warriors thru the journey. But I will work toward that as soon as I know how I start it.

I really hope all of y’all are doing well too , remember to pray and God will guide your thru I promise you he has taken pain from me when I asked and helped me get thru all I have been thru or I wouldn’t have made it he is my everlasting light.

Well I will close now with that and please show some love to someone they made need it or it may be the last time you can.

Ok showing some love to y’all I am wishing you all love and peace. Talk to you soon.

Strep is not playing this year

So glad I am getting better , it took a few days to do this , I have been so tired so I am resting as much as I can now.

We had a funny thing happen last night eating supper my dad made his presence to me and my husband well we were shocked to say the least lol. But I had a dream and dad was telling me it was to let us know he is still around us made me smile big. I miss him so much. Makes me sad a lot.

So now trying to get back to me , the last hormone blocker did a number on me it made my joints and bones hurt so bad I could hardly walk but my body is getting better now so thankful for that.

My knee had so much fluid on it that I couldn’t hardly stand on it or walk with it , it is now going down.

So this is a life of a hormone positive cancer survivor which is not all it seems lol.

When I have dreams about a loved one I feel it is God communicating with me and it I feel is a gift from him to me , I try to use it as he would have me to and I hope I do it the way he wants too.

Well I am off to bed y’all. Just enjoy your loved ones and know life is to short. So go show love to all you can.

My love to all of y’all is sent. Till next time.